One owner, cream puff
I have an exciting announcement to make. As regular readers will be aware, I have now been driving in the USA for over a month without incident and with increasing confidence. I have celebrated this miraculous achievement with the acquisition of a wrong sided vehicle. Oh yes, dear friends, I now have wheels!
For the mechanically minded among you, it is a 1999 Volvo S80 T6. For everyone else, it's navy blue and has heated leather seats.
Even the Volvo service department gave it two thumbs up, so its maintenance record beat out the competition hands down. The car has been so meticulously cared for that the dealer advertised it thus: "One owner, cream puff, would be the best way to describe this car in four words or less." I'm still not sure exactly what that means, but I gleefully christened the car the H.M.A.S. Cream Puff on the very first day.
Admittedly it's not a particularly sexy choice. It's responsible and grown up and very, very safe, but I am having some personal issues associated with the purchase. I don't even like lawn bowls!
My self image is not quite at the Volvo stage of its life cycle. An Audi A4, Saab 9-3, BMW 3 series, anything topless - this is how I saw myself in the last gasp of my twenties, driving across the USA on a voyage of personal discovery. A Volvo S80 is how I saw other people in the last gasp of their thirties, dropping off their kids at soccer practice or, worse, in the last gasp of their seventies, pausing forever at a stop sign while the frustrated people in the exciting cars behind them despair of getting around the corner while they're still young enough to enjoy it.
I have decided that the only way to offset this outbreak of vehicular maturity is to engage in acts of personal recklessness in and around the Volvo. The stereo offers sufficient volume and clarity to broadcast obnoxiously loud music through the windows and sunroof as it rolls by in all its conspicuous dependability. The spacious back seat provides ample opportunity for all sorts of thoroughly reprehensible behaviour in this exemplar of motoring respectability. The back seat of a Volvo - could sex be any safer? I'm even considering a daring respray - perhaps Kill Bill yellow or Kermit green would liven things up a little? My only hesitation is that my little Volvo driving hat might not match the new colour scheme.
5 comments:
Check this out, Heather. Looks like other folks have discovered the ample opportunity aspect of their Volvo's..........http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2023911.html
You can make out with high-school boys at lookouts! Then you only have to become a cheerleader and you will be completely All American*
* Apologies to all Americans who don't fit this stereotype. Especially to all All American Americans. Possibly this stereotype doesn't even exist. Who knows.
now heather simply put WHY VOLVO!! there are some things sacred in the world and buying a volvo is something you do not do........however by your intended reckless and naughty behaivour i have utmost faith in you that you will lead a world image change of the volvo...i can see it now....the volvo as told by heather a vechile of speed danger passion and illegal children...buy one now..change how the world sees you.
The Volvo not to be under estimated try this link http://videos.streetfire.net/searchand search for volvo.
Dont feel bad Heather, there are some volvo drivers who havent retired yet and dont play lawn bowls.
a volvo it may be, but i'm relieved that it has heated seats. having had a taste of their joys - hey, it is getting cold here - i'm starting to understand the potential trauma of a return to cold-bottomed driving. congratulations.
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